The Days Go By........

Yesterday I went to the cemetery. I don't go as often as I would like but I go more often than most. I took him a cross to put at his grave. We are still waiting on his headstone. Hopefully it wont be much longer. When I go out to the cemetery I have noticed almost a saddened peace. As I look at my 2 beautiful boys graves, my Mom and Dad's, my grandparents, & my niece's; it's a reality of all I have lost in these short 43 years. Yet there is this low lying peace when I am there as if they are all telling me they are ok maybe? Or as if in some small way I am with them even for just a short moment. But as soon as I drive away the its like the peace leaves too. Or is just taken over by pain. Before loosing Dayton I went out and talked to Momma and Daddy, Trevor, Grandma and Grandpa quite often. But not as often as I do now. But it has always seemed to be a place I can go and feel closer to them. There has been times that I have been troubled and when I go out there and would talk to Momma I could almost hear her answer me unlike here. I spend many of my days these days lost & confused in this big world. And I still spend much of it questioning why? Why my Dayton? He was a good man, loving, caring, hard working, God fearing man. That had dedicated his life to not only serving God but our country as well. I guess a lot of my confusion comes from the fact that I see so many good people suffering, and not so good people living "the good life" or always getting away with whatever they are doing. Then I see so many like Dayton that so much going for them taken away. And like Dayton many taken away before they even got to have some of the few true blessings in life like, getting married, being a parent, grandparent, uncle/aunt. I think that is part of what breaks my heart so much is that Dayton wanted to be a daddy so bad & he was so good with kids, he would have been a good daddy.
I find it very hard sometimes to keep reminding myself "It is not my will, but God's" and "even though I may not understand why, I must keep my trust in the Lord". But it is these times that I am very thankful that God forgives me for my short comings. He forgives me when I fall, and helps me back up. He loves me unconditionally, not for anything I have done or didn't do but because HE IS LOVE. Jesus took all my sins that I have made and all of them I will make when He died on the cross. He cleansed me with His Holy blood. And just as there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. He loves us all exactly the same. WOW, think about that a minute. How wonderful it would be if we could love as He loves. Love everyone exactly the same. Love everyone with Agape Love. In our bible study "Understandable Marriage" one of the classes was over Indestructible Love. We learned that there is five kinds of love in the Greek language. Here they are:
☆ Epithumia (Thumos)- passion, hot, passionate (negatively "lust" or positively "desire")
☆ Eros- sexual desires, sexual passion (romantic, sensual, passionate love)
☆ Philia- deep friendship, brotherly love (the love shared between friends; tender affection)
☆ Storge- family bond (the love of belonging, generally shared between family members)
☆ Agape- love for everyone, God's love, it is the only non-emotional based love (a God-like, self-sacrificing, unconditional love)
And through one of my bible study where I am researching words of the bible to learn the "true" meaning here is the english definition of "love".
Love -- * a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person * attraction that includes sexual desire * the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship * a person you love in a romantic way * strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> * attraction based on sexual desire * affection and tenderness felt by lovers * affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> * an assurance of affection <give her my love> * warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea> * the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> * a beloved person * unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another as the fatherly concern of God for humankind - brotherly concern for others - a person's adoration of God * a God or personification of love * to feel great affection for (someone) * to feel love for (someone) * to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone) * to like or desire (something) very much * to take great pleasure in (something) * to hold dear * cherish * to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for * caress * to fondle amorously *  to copulate with * to like or desire actively * take pleasure in <loved to play the violin> * to thrive in <the rose loves sunlight> * to feel affection or experience desire.
Now as you see, we have the meaning's pretty much conrrect but we use only one word "love". No wounder we get confused.
See, God's love is the kind of love we should have for everyone. It is a choice not a feeling.
Something to ponder on today 《How many people do you truly show Agape Love for? And what are you going to do about it?》God command us to love......
☆ Matthew 22:39 NCV ~ And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’
☆ Mark 12:31 NCV ~ The second command is this: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ There are no commands more important than these.”