What I would do to figure out the magic key to having peace now. It has been 111 days and I can honestly say I have just as many seconds tick by with thinking about Dayton as I did on day one. I wake up thinking about him, I go to bed thinking about him.
My oldest son seems to have the same pledge I do. I am lost on how to help him when I cant even seem to do it for myself. The three younger boys however seem to be doing ok. It has seemed to become almost a forbidden thing to talk about anymore in my home. I feel lost & alone. I am so very happy everyone is moving on. I wish I could, but I seem to be trapped in this big hole with no way out. And now I am left down here alone, with no one to talk to. Everyone else crawled out and have moved away. I have gotten fairly good with pretending everything is ok. Because everything should be ok by now right? Oh how I wish it was.
I had started studying the word "peace" in the bible months before Dayton's death. Well, to back things up a bit, In about October 2012 I had started really studying the bible, but after loosing my Mom in December 2012 I really started studying. Reading a lot. Researching a lot. Going from one thing to another, like a hungry dog that hadn't eaten in months. I mean it didn't seem to matter how long I studied, I never could seem to get enough. I believe God had put on my heart to study the book of Proverbs. Once that was done, eight months ago, I felt God was putting on my heart to study the word "peace". So here we went again. I remember feeling like "what is the point of all this". I searched with no findings trying to figure out my "purpose". Did the 'Purpose Driven Life" bible study twice. nothing. Now He wants me to study peace? And it wasn't until about a a month after loosing Dayton that I realized, 'THIS IS WHAT GOD WAS TRYING TO PREPARE ME FOR' He knew time was getting close and He also knew there was no way I was going to make it through without Him. I just finished the 'peace' study today. And even though I haven't seem peace in 112 days I do believe I will. I do believe there is a reason why I can't seem to find it yet. My lesson in this season of my life is not over with yet. I have however discovered some pretty interesting facts though. I will show you.
Do you know:
《Peach be with you》 is referenced in the bible 16 times.
《I will give you peace\God who gives peace\God who brings peace》is referenced 16 times.
《given peace》is referenced 8 times.
《grace & peace from God》 is referenced 15 times.
《work for peace》 is referenced 4 times.
《live in peace》 is referenced 19 times.
Now, here is what I see, 55 times in the bible God says he will give us peace. 19 times He tells us to except His gracious gift of peace. And only 4 times He says we have to do something to get it. Here is what I believe, I believe God wants to give us peace over 13 times more than He expects us to earn it. And He wants us to understand this so He tells us 19 times to except His gift. But, until we decide to receive it, we will not have it. So, since I believe this is what He is trying to tell us. I am going to begin to start excepting His peace. God give all things freely to those who worship Him and follow Him. We all know we will never be good enough in our own flesh, BUT we are good enough through Christ. THANK YOU JESUS! We also know that nothing we try to do in our own flesh and strength will parish. That it will only prosper when we allow Christ to do it through us. So to end this message ~ I pray for you to have peace today, tomorrow, and forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment