Went out and talked to you today. Just wanted to remind you how
much I love you and how proud I am of you. I miss you more with each day that
passes.
Ok, I have honestly heard the song "The Hurt & The
Healer" hundreds of times but it wasn't until tonight that I actually
"heard this song" I have listend to it over and over and then even
listened with the lyrics. Every single word fits me perfectly. But God is soooo
amazing like that! I have added it with the lyrics so you can REALLY HEAR THE
WORDS. As most of you know I went out to see Dayton Tyler
Beard today. Just felt a need for one of our talks, almost felt
like he was leading me out there. These past few days have been hell in more
ways than one. Every time I seem to start to get back on my feet satan has
taken another blow. But as my wonderful Momma always told me "I'm one of
the most bullheaded people she has even known" well, right now that is a
good thing. Because I absolutely refuse to allow satan to win. I am not going
to say I wont have another set back, another blow, maybe even a complete knock
down. But I refuse to stay down. I will fight the good fight until Jesus calls
me home.
And you want to know something else? I am so thankful I don't have to do it alone. In this time of turmoil it is so comforting to know I have someone who truly loves me unconditionally, who truly accepts me just the way I am even with my faults, who will truly never ever leave me, who will never lie to me no matter what, who no matter what stupid mistake I may make will still help me and never reject me or scream at me or call me names, who will never belittle me or make me feel lesser, who would never talk ill about me behind my back, who will never throw my past in my face, who will always be there for me no matter what. I am so thankful to have a Father that loves me no matter what. That wants to be a part of me no matter what. That forgive me no matter what. And He feels the same about each and everyone of you. Let's face it. We are all human & we are all sinners, we all do every single one of those things I said above. But I will say this, I personally am done listening to what anyone else wants to say about me. As Joyce Meyers as said many times "I am not in charge of my reputation". I am honestly done trying to please earthly people. There is only one I aim to please, and that is my Heavenly Father. Am I ready to go home? YOU BET! But, I am here, which means there is still work for me to do. And I will do it to the best of my ability. I know my Father will never give me anything to do that He hasent given me the ability and strength to do. Yes, I still miss my baby with all my heart; yes, I still feel like I have a huge hole in my heart; and YES, I am angry! Actually I am down right pissed! And you should be too! I am angry with satan for all the pain and suffering he is causing so so many people every second of every day! And its time everyone wakes up and realizes who is really to blame! This is ALL at fault of evil! Read the Word! Study the Word! He is the one who has come to steal, kill, and destroy! HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TAKEN MY BABY AND YOUR LOVED ONES!!!! Please wake up and realized this. Before it's to late. If me loosing Dayton doesn't do anything else I pray it atleast will show everyone that we are never promised tomorrow. And tomorrow may be to late. Make the choice! Choose life!
And you want to know something else? I am so thankful I don't have to do it alone. In this time of turmoil it is so comforting to know I have someone who truly loves me unconditionally, who truly accepts me just the way I am even with my faults, who will truly never ever leave me, who will never lie to me no matter what, who no matter what stupid mistake I may make will still help me and never reject me or scream at me or call me names, who will never belittle me or make me feel lesser, who would never talk ill about me behind my back, who will never throw my past in my face, who will always be there for me no matter what. I am so thankful to have a Father that loves me no matter what. That wants to be a part of me no matter what. That forgive me no matter what. And He feels the same about each and everyone of you. Let's face it. We are all human & we are all sinners, we all do every single one of those things I said above. But I will say this, I personally am done listening to what anyone else wants to say about me. As Joyce Meyers as said many times "I am not in charge of my reputation". I am honestly done trying to please earthly people. There is only one I aim to please, and that is my Heavenly Father. Am I ready to go home? YOU BET! But, I am here, which means there is still work for me to do. And I will do it to the best of my ability. I know my Father will never give me anything to do that He hasent given me the ability and strength to do. Yes, I still miss my baby with all my heart; yes, I still feel like I have a huge hole in my heart; and YES, I am angry! Actually I am down right pissed! And you should be too! I am angry with satan for all the pain and suffering he is causing so so many people every second of every day! And its time everyone wakes up and realizes who is really to blame! This is ALL at fault of evil! Read the Word! Study the Word! He is the one who has come to steal, kill, and destroy! HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TAKEN MY BABY AND YOUR LOVED ONES!!!! Please wake up and realized this. Before it's to late. If me loosing Dayton doesn't do anything else I pray it atleast will show everyone that we are never promised tomorrow. And tomorrow may be to late. Make the choice! Choose life!
Miss you more each day Dayton Tyler
Beard. But I am so so truly thankful for the bond we had that most
could only dream of.
Thank you baby boy! Although it really doesn't suprise me for
you to make it so confusing just because you were ornery like that, do I kinda
wish you wouldn't have made such a puzzle out of it.. Oh how you loved to pick
on me, and oh how I miss that. I miss you helping me cook dinner when you were
home or we were up there in the hotel room. I miss how we could laugh until our
bellys hurt about some of the stupidest stuff. I miss all the overflow of love
you had for everyone. Man kiddo you sure knew how to love! And yes, many times
it got you hurt, but it never stopped you. There is so many things I miss about
you. And I can honestly say there is nothing I don't miss.
I can't say I
am missing you any less, but I think I am getting better at multi-tasking with
it. Or atleast I thought so, that is until I got your bag tonight. I opened it
and I could smell you. Your hat, jacket, & hoodie that you had on at the
game, the last time I got to hug you, kiss your cheek, tell you I loved you. If
I would have only held on tighter, if only I would have been selfish and asked
you to come home and spend time with me instead, then you would be here
with me. I wouldn't have lost you. I keep reminding myself you are in a
better place. That your job here was done and Jesus had your room prepared so
He took you home. I keep reminding myself that you are waiting for me. That you
are still right here in my heart. I keep reminding myself I will see you soon.
I keep reminding myself that eventhough you have always been a soldier for God,
that NOW you are a FULL soldier for God. I keep reminding myself of how blessed
I was to have been hand selected to be your Momma. I keep reminding myself that
God only loaned you to me for a short time, and He needed you back. I keep
reminding myself it will get better one day at a time, one step at a time. And
I will always miss you, I will always have those I wish I would have's. And I
have faith that God will heal my brokenheart. I trust God to be my strength
when I am weak, and be my light when everything seems so dark. I love you baby
boy, thank you for being my baby, for dealing with me, for loving me, and for
putting up with everyone telling you "you look like your mom" all
those years. Hugs and Kisses my sweet baby.
Ok Calling all my mighty prayer warriors out there!
I need prayers for a young lady that is exactly effected by the loss of Dayton Tyler Beard. She is not only lost on life but she is a lost child of Christ. I would rather not give her name just know she is someone my sweet baby cared very much for. Please help me in not only prayer for her peace hope, and comfort but also for her heart to be renewed and for her to see the glorious light of Christ and we all know and rely on. I could not even begin to imagine how hopeless life would be without my Lord and Savior. Without knowing He will protect me and heal me. Without knowing I will soon see my baby once again and we will all be together for eternity.
Thank you in advance for your prayers for this young lady.
I need prayers for a young lady that is exactly effected by the loss of Dayton Tyler Beard. She is not only lost on life but she is a lost child of Christ. I would rather not give her name just know she is someone my sweet baby cared very much for. Please help me in not only prayer for her peace hope, and comfort but also for her heart to be renewed and for her to see the glorious light of Christ and we all know and rely on. I could not even begin to imagine how hopeless life would be without my Lord and Savior. Without knowing He will protect me and heal me. Without knowing I will soon see my baby once again and we will all be together for eternity.
Thank you in advance for your prayers for this young lady.
Spending every
waking hours missing you makes it really hard to accept you are never coming
back. But hearing bits and pieces at a time makes it really hard. You were
always my hero, but I think you already knew that. I am glad you are in a much
better place but that doesn't make it any easier to move on. I think I fear
your memory slowly fading away as people move on. But I also know I have to
accept in and allow God to heal me.
I know God will never give us
more than we can handle. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NCV ~ The only temptation
that has come to you is that which everyone has. But you can trust God, who
will not permit you to be tempted more than you can stand. But when you are
tempted, he will also give you a way to escape so that you will be able to
stand it. But I sure wish He didn't have so much confidence in me.
I know God's
strength is made perfect when I am weak. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NCV ~But he said to
me, “My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in
you.” So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can
live in me.
I know if I stand firm in my
faith and trust my Heavenly Father (passed the test of faith) God will give me
grace. 1 Peter 5:10 NCV Z~ And after you suffer for a short time, God, who
gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and
support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in
Christ, a glory that will continue forever.
I know I will see you again and
spend eternity with you. 2 Samuel 12:23 NCV ~ But now that the baby is dead,
why should I fast? I can’t bring him back to life. Someday I will go to him,
but he cannot come back to me.”
I know if I remain in faith God
has a good plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 NCV ~ I say this because I know what I
am planning for you,” says the L ord . “I have good plans for you, not plans to
hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.
I know I must never loose hope
because God's word has told me of all His promises to me. Zechariah 9:12 NCV ~
You prisoners who have hope, return to your place of safety. Today I am telling
you that I will give you back twice as much as before. Psalms 42:5 NCV ~ Why am
I so sad? Why am I so upset? I should put my hope in God and keep praising him,
my Savior
I know if I trust in God and
depend totally on Him. 2 Corinthians 9:8 NCV ~ And God can give you more
blessings than you need. Then you will always have plenty of everything—enough
to give to every good work.
Tomorrow
will be 1 month since the last time I hugged you, since I kissed your sweet
cheek, since I heard your joyful laugh, since I seen your sweet smile. This has
truly been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I miss you more
than words can even begin to express. I have spent the last month confused,
mad, sad, lost, hurt, upset, lonely, aggervated, overwhelmed, stressed,
depressed, weak, sick, frustrated, exausted, guilty, & defeated. It
has been 1 month but in part of me it has seemed like forever. But it still
hurt like it was yesterday. I am so thankful that I know Christ. That I have
had Him to carry me through this. To be my strength through it all. I am so
thankful for my faith because it has been and still is my only light. The world
has been so dark to me this past month. I am thankful for His love for me, that
God loves me no matter how many mistakes I make because I know I have made many
expecially this past month. I have felt so alone even though I have been
surrounded by tons of people who love me and loves you. I honstly never
realized how alone you can actually feel in a crouded room until now. Because
of my faith I have always looked forward to eternity in heaven, but loved life,
loved being alive, loved people, loved being a Momma. And I know that God
allows us to go through trials here on earth to mold us into who He wants us to
be. I also know He allows the trials on earth because if He made life here so
wonderful we would never want to go home. But with loosing you I am having a
really hard time wanting to finish what I am put here to do. At this moment the
main thing that keeps me going is the knowledge of knowing that when I have
done what I am put here to do then I will go home. Then my work here will be
finished. So the fact that to go home I have to compete my tasks here is the
biggest thing keeping me going. I still love being a Momma to your brothers,
they are the other thing that keeps me going. I know they need me here. It is
just so hard to enjoy anything anymore. I have to remind myself all the time
that my job here is not done and that you would want me to be here for your
brothers. I am so tired of the "life ain't fair" crap. I have lost
way to many people I love. I know you are all up there together waiting on me.
But like the Mercy Me song says I am so so Homesick. There is many many times
that the pain seems unbareable. At those times is when I have to keep reminding
myself God will never give me more than I can bare. But I sure do wish He
didn't have so much confidence in me. Baby boy you are so missed by many, and I
think you will be by many forever. There has been many times I have said it
feels like I have a huge hole in my heart. I know there is not a hole because I
know you are still there, but that large part of my heart is shattered into
millions of pieces. I miss you more every second. Baby, please be with us all
that are hurting. Help us all to have peace and comfort in knowing you will
always be with us.
I miss you sooooooooooo much. It's been 1 months ago since I
have seen you beautiful smile. I miss your silliness. I miss your laugh. There
isn't a thing I don't miss about you.
I am a very
proud Army daughter of Tommy Teel, wife of Doug Lucas, and momma of Dayton Tyler
Beard. I am honored beyond words to have been a part of these 3 men's
life. Today OKU had a special veterans program for those who have served or are
serving today. My youngest baby Levi Beardled the Pledge of Allegiance with
great pride and honor. This year's service was detected to my beloved baby. He
wasn't just a soldier. This young man wore his uniform with great honor. He
truly loved being a soldier. One month ago today my baby was taken from me way
to soon, but I guess that's what happens when you show yourself to be an
outstanding soldier. God needs outstanding soldiers too. The other picture is
of all out veterans today. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all
you have sacrificed. And thank youChristine
Lively for the program
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