To think a year
ago (the Tuesday before thanksgiving) at this time we were well on our way to
Colorado Springs for the first time to see you. We were all so excited. Your
brothers could not wait to see Colorado and I just couldn't wait to get that
big hug from my sweet soldier. I look back now on that first trip. How crazy
things got between Levi getting sick to the car breaking down and leaving us
there for an extra 4 days. And now I think oh what a blessing. You we're our
rescue. You would go work all day then come take care of us. That is if your
amazing Sgt Kyle Graff hadn't already sent you earlier to take care of us. You
we're always such a blessing. You always took care of your family, of the ones
you loved. Bless your heart you we're a Mommas boy. We were closer than close.
Like you had said there wasn't anything you didn't tell me. Most people don't
really understand stand that. They don't understand that honestly "if
Momma didn't know it wasn't worth knowing." Lol I remember when you told
that to one of you girlfriend. That was so funny the look on their face. I am
so thankful that you got to have that 1 true love. In a way it makes me sad
that you never got to be a Daddy, oh what an amazing Daddy you would have been.
But truthfully I am thankful that you wasn't in a relationship with anyone.
Sometimes I think you knew it was coming, you just didn't know when or how.
Love you and miss you my sweet angel.
Thank you to
everyone who was here for Thanksgiving. If I could only express how much it
ment to me. It helps with the emptyness of not havingDayton here. I enjoy cooking,
always have; but to have a house full to cook for makes it so much better. I
had honestly been dreading Thanksgiving just for the fact of missing my sweet
baby. I hate that Troy Wayne wasn't able to make it but I understand the whole
"had to work" thing. And ofcourse Nana being able to get lots of
sugar from my sweet ElsaMae there was no need for any pie! smile emoticon I
just want you all to know I appriciate each and every one of you. I am thankful
for you all in my life. You all may each day so much brighter for me. This past
month and a half you all have been my reason for moving forward, for getting
up, for smiling. The loss of Dayton has left a huge hole in everyone of our
hearts. A hole that will never be filled. There has been many times that I have
been I guess you could say exteamly homesick. Beyond what I think any of us
ever should be. I have had many times of complete numbness inside of me. A lost
feeling. Such an emptyness that it almost makes me sick to my stomache. But I
am so so thankful that I know God Loves Me. I know God will give me peace. I
know God will give me strength. I know God will give me courage. I know God
will give me wisdom. I know God will comfort me. It is just like Dayton said in
one of his last posts before the accident. "GOD IS MY ROCK" He is my
everything. And because of Him and His unexplainable love for me despite my
faults I know I will make it through. I will have my weak moments. But
thankfully God will be there to give me strength. When I fall He will be there
to pick me back up. And I believe each and everyone of you are a part of that
gracious gift to me. You are God's reminder to me that it will all be ok. You
are each put into my life for a reason and for that I am thankful.... And I am
so so thankful that one day we will ALL be together again with Dayton. And even
though I honestly can not wait, I know that I am here for a reason and I will
do whatever God needs me to do until it is all done.
Thank you all and please know I love you!
Thank you all and please know I love you!
Romans 8:18-19
NCV ~The sufferings we have now are nothing compared to the great glory that
will be shown to us. Everything God made is waiting with excitement for God to
show his children’s glory completely.
Well we had one
of our crazy family famous UNO nights with Doug, Colton,Levi, & Kyler. You know the one's where 1
games takes like 2+ hours.... lol It was lots of fun although sure did miss you
being here. Brought back some pretty great memories. You would be proud thought
Momma won both games! I sure do miss having my UNO partner. smile emoticon So
be ready because when I get to heaven our unbeatable duo will be back full
force and beating everyone! WOOHOO! Man as much as I LOVE being here with
your brothers and watching them grow into amazing young men I sure can wait for
one of your million dollar hugs. I know you will be waiting at heavens gates to
greet me... And even though I miss you every second of every day; I am starting
to have the divine peace with the fact that you are home, you are happy, you
will never hurt in anyway, you will never shed another tear, you have enternal
life of nothing but peace, joy & love. And mostly you are waiting on me.
You will always have a huge part of my heart with you that I could never get
back nor do I want to. But I am determinded I am going to enjoy life in your memory,
I am going to live the rest of my life to the fullest, doing my very best to
please the Lord in everything I do. I know I will make mistakes but thankfully
He does to and will forgive me. I have no clue how much longer I have left all
I know is that I am going to spend every second of every day helping and loving
everyone I can. It my turn to make YOU & GOD proud of ME! smile emoticon I
love you my sweet angel.
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