Dayton Tyler Beard have I told you lately how much I miss you? Have
I told you lately I love you? Have I told you lately I'm proud of you? Well, I
do, I do, I AM!
Two weeks ago
my sweet baby Dayton Tyler Beard went home to be with Jesus and our lives were
changed forever. I have never imagined the depth of the pain I have felt over
these past 2 weeks. I never imagined the emptiness I feel. I still fight with
the nightmare of that horrible morning over and over. It is a constant battle
with Satan over my thoughts with the should of, could of, would of. The battle
of him telling me I wasn't a good enough mother. The battle of it being my
fault. The battle of feeling guilty for enjoying anything. Even the battle of
if God loved me He wouldn't have taken my baby. I have had many ask me how I am
staying so strong, or telling me I'm such a strong person. But honestly I am
not. Jesus has carried me this whole time. Jesus has been my strength. There
would have been no way of me making it w/out Him. I have buried myself in
prayer and The Word. I have had to keep myself busy and not give Satan a chance
to attack. I literally study The Word until I am ready to pass out at night.
The pain I have felt is a pain that no parent should ever have to feel. It is
so crushing, so crippling. But with my LORD and Savior I will learn to walk
again. I will win this battle. Because through Christ I am more than a conquer!
And I am too bull headed to give up!
I would like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers through this difficult time. You have no idea how much it has helped. And is still helping. And I pray that God showers you with blessings throughout your life.
I would like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers through this difficult time. You have no idea how much it has helped. And is still helping. And I pray that God showers you with blessings throughout your life.
My MCM! Yeah I am sure blessed with all these great men in my
life! Love them all to the moon n beyond!
Melinda Lucas
feeling
blessed
My sweet
soldier Dayton Tyler Beard Eighteen days ago you were called home to be
with Jesus; & even though I have yet to have a "dry day" it is
getting a little better. It is so hard imagine life without you. I miss your
sweet texts & as all your friends say your selfies. I miss getting the
oportunity to tell you "good job" or "I'm proud of you" or
even just "I love you & miss you" I spend every waking hours with
you on my mind, & it seems like I spend ever sleeping hour replaying that
horrible morning that no parent should ever have to live. I am so thankful that
my Heavenly Father gives me strength when I am weak.
Psalms 105:4 NCV ~ Depend on the L ord and his strength; always go to him for help.
Psalms 138:3 NCV ~ On the day I called to you, you answered me. You made me strong and brave.
Psalms 105:4 NCV ~ Depend on the L ord and his strength; always go to him for help.
Psalms 138:3 NCV ~ On the day I called to you, you answered me. You made me strong and brave.
I am so thankful to know that my
Heavenly Father will always comfort me when I am troubled. And gives me peace.
I am thankful to know I do NOT have to face this alone.
Psalms 119:50 NCV ~ When I suffer, this comforts me: Your promise gives me life.
John 16:33 NCV ~ “I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.”
Psalms 119:50 NCV ~ When I suffer, this comforts me: Your promise gives me life.
John 16:33 NCV ~ “I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.”
At church tonight (first time
back since you left) it was our potluck dinner. I know you alway enjoyed them.
We had Stephen & Alli, Dylan & Miriah & kids, and Tracey all there.
I was so pleased to have them. The youth group went up to do a skit. Well guess
what one. My favorite, When Jesus ran. Well you know how much I loved that one.
And it always brought tears to my eyes. Well they didn't get very far before I
had to leave. Guess I wasn't ready for that one. WOW that really hit me. I
always loved you all doing it and I guess it was just to much reality/memory all
at once. You would have been so proud though becuase Levi was in it. And I
guess he did great. (ofcouse I missed it - darn it) He sure was proud to be a
part of it, So YELP he's your brother. Just as much of a ham as you were. BUT
the GREATEST part was we had young ladies 2 give their life to the Lord. And I
know you are a big reason why. Baby you touched so many people and still are.
Even though I hurt so bad from loosing you, it has brought so many to accepting
the Lord. And I believe this is how God is going to take something so bad, so
tragic, so painful and use it for the good of His Kingdom.
Genesis 50:20 NCV ~ You meant to hurt me, but God turned your evil into good to save the lives of many people, which is being done.
Genesis 50:20 NCV ~ You meant to hurt me, but God turned your evil into good to save the lives of many people, which is being done.
So my sweet baby, you may not be
here with me in the flesh to hug and hear, but you are in my heart and you are
still working your magic that you had. There is many times I can close my eyes
and see that million dollar smile. I am so so proud of you. I am so honored to
have been the one that God blessed to be your mom. I am so thankful for the
beautiful/happy/adventurious 21 amazing years with you. Yes I hurt, Yes I miss
you. But to have been hand selected by God to be your mom is so so worth that
pain.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 NCV ~ and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 NCV ~ and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.
Dayton Tyler Beard....still feels like u will walk into that door any
second. People tell me I will get use to you being gone. But I dont know how I
can. We went through everything together. From birthdays, mixing up colors,
getting in trouble, playing power rangers, mission trips...you name it....and
now your gone...
Well baby, you
should be on your way to California right now for training. You were so excited
about this trip, well actually you were about many. I am beginning to realize;
I miss you like crazy, but I think what hurts the most was how much you loved
life, how excited you were about your goals and making then 1 by 1, how much you
truly loved being a soldier, how you always looked at each day as another day
to make another goal, how driven you were to be the best you could be, all the
times you talked to me about your goals and dreams, how much you talked about
finding that Mrs. Right and becoming a daddy, watching you suceed and prove
everyone wrong, how no matter what happened/what knocked you down you always
came right back up ready to hit it again, your ambission. I miss our long talks
about anything & everything, I miss your sweet "love you Momma"
texts, I miss your calls or texts letting me know your ok. You were always so
good about making sure I knew that. I miss how you were always checking on us
to make sure we were all ok. I miss you making me cry with pride and joy. What
I wouldn't give for one more day with you. I'm so thankful for every single
second we had together but I just wish it didn't have to end so soon. I love
you baby to the moon and beyond!
— 
feeling
lost.
feeling
lost.
Ok so I got these to put on Dayton Tyler
Beard gave but I am kinda rethinking it because of the fact that
someone may steal them so now I think I'm going to turn my little fish pond
into a memorial for him. That way we can put them out there and enjoy them
daily.
Oh how I miss our talks. I would love to hear your voice again.
We could and would talk about anything and everything. And I so miss having
that.
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